Scenario Building

After going through the previous posts, my guide pointed out the information graphic done to show the problems which affect the child due to its surrounding relationships needed a more clear picture. Situations had to be created in order to understand what the child actually needs while undergoing the stress at school beginning phase. Scenario building was recommended. Also when thinking of the end deliverable it could serve as a reminder to parents requesting them to do certain things which could help the child. Examples of toilet training, food training and psychologically preparing them for school should be sighted out. The trainings are in a way manifestation of the relationships which a  child shares with its parents or the caretaker. 

Jury Feedback

Prior to the jury, I got the opportunity to interact with Dr. Shailendra Gupta. He heads the Calorx Education and Research Foundation. He has been involved in the field of education for long time. He has interest in child development, transactional analysis, creativity, thinking, teacher education. 

He pointed out that child upbringing is a very challenging task. According to him time is the biggest problem. Parents need to essentially give time to their children. He sighted us an example where a parent is ready to devote fifteen minutes to read paper but not sit with his child. The reason being, reading paper will benefit him in his business but if he spends that amount with his child, his time will get wasted. He stated that parents fail to realise, but their manner of handling kids has its repercussions in future.

The number of people who are abused at old age is on a rise. This has to be attributed to the way children were brought up. It not only shows carelessness on the child's part but also parents who are to be blamed for neglecting their children earlier. He recommended us to follow Maria Montessori's blog and also read the Global Achievement Gap. 

After meeting him I realised that parents should be made aware of the long term effects of child upbringing. They have to be explained how their own neglect could be a cause of worry eventually. All the potential problems that could possibly arise from the early years of education should be elaborated and shared with parents.

At the Jury:
Since the project is on research stage, I was asked to read more on it. I was asked to look into the works as it could give me insight as to how I could look at this issue.

• Mitchel Resnick
• Brio Toy Company
• Reggio Emilia

Speaking to Parents

Jasmin Kalsi

Staying in Mumbai with her husband and three year daughter, Jasmin Kalsi was quite excited to share her views on the days when her daughter started with school. After nearly fifteen minutes of conversation I learnt several new behavioral aspects.

Meher, her daughter has been a very enthusiastic child. She loves to do things in her own way. It took her nearly two months to settle down in the school which was also a troubling period for the mother. Initial days were manageable because she was happy to go to the new place but after a week when she realized that it is continuing and that she has to stay away from her parents and her home she became uncomfortable. The first two months she had to be persuaded and taken forcefully to school. Also she was very possessive about her belongings. When guests came home, she would try to attract them by doing some gimmicks. Being the first child, even grandparents used to pamper her a lot as well as the neighbors.  As a result she started demanding more attention even while the mother had work. Once she returned from school, mother had to look after her all the time. When this happened Jasmin felt really tied up  and to such an extent that for once she felt the need of undergoing counseling for herself and for her daughter. Meher became very demanding and clingy but soon a workshop was held in school. Issues regarding parent's role to bring up the child and children's television viewing habits were discussed.

When she learnt that tv can ruin a child's ability to imagine she was quite shocked. The workshop helped her cope up with the day to day issues she faced with Meher. Every semester two workshops were held, one was for both the parents and one was for only fathers. The school stresses on the fact that the involvement of fathers is also very essential in educating and upbringing children which is why they specially hold workshops for them.

As earlier thought that children start troubling parents the moment  they come to school is not always the case. Many children take a while to first realize the situation and then react. The children need attention and in today's nuclear household scenario, their only source of communication is their parents. Parents should be patient enough to listen to their children. Moreover television has become a threat to the child' s development. So for many parents who often turn on the tv for kids just because the kid has been troubling them, they should check on that. Moreover "playgroup has emerged as a substitute for Dada-Dadi" with the kind of interaction they have started having. If parents cant shell out time playgroup could be considered as an option.

Pranay

Children are smarter than we think. Three year old Pranay understood in the first few days the route to his school and was scared to even go through that road even when he was not taken to school. Yes that’s the kind of scare, children have towards school. So the challenge for Pranay's mom didn’t start when they reached school but it started soon when they left home. The whole journey became a troublesome period. He used to keep howling and crying while his mom made desperate attempts to divert his attention. After five months she eventually succeeded.

The question is how she did that?

The school is a ten minute walking distance, so carrying a baby is tough and carrying a crying one is worse! Her mom being an artist decided to teach him to explore new things as they went.  She taught him to feel the furry cat which lazily sunbathed, pat the dog as he wagged his tail on seeing his new friend, wish the trees that passed by "Goodmorning!" while coming home they brought back snails and often twigs and leaves with which she taught him to create new things. She took the whole school going journey as a challenge and decided to make it a learning experience from him. But all this after a period of five months. When I asked her about her experience in sending Pranay to school initially, she admitted having cried the first day of his school. She herself didn’t realise that leaving her son could be so painful and scary. The teachers were very supportive and spoke to her and asked her to sit for a few days and watch her son from outside the class. This calmed her down and after a few days she didn’t stayed after Pranay.

She feels that children need a lot of time. For themselves and for their parents to know them. Parents should be patient enough and let their children behave freely. They shouldn't be stopped from doing something by creating a fear such- " Don't go there, somebody will come and kidnap you"..all these not only prevent the child from going there but also restrict his chances of exploring anywhere further. The notion of kidnapping will persist wherever they go. Like adults who need reason for every action, children too need to know why they are told to do this and not to do that. They may not claim to know yet they should be told. Otherwise their ability to question and reason also suffers. Of late parents easily get irritated with the children and this does not help the parent and certainly not the child. The value of school is realized much later but the joy of learning something can be made memorable if parents become more participative in their child's activities. This will eradicate a lot of problems the children unknowingly face.  

Meeting Teachers-3

After seeking permission from Mrs. Ingrid de Rozario, the headmistress for Primary Section at St. Xavier's High School, I met three teachers who teach at the kindergarten department.

The scenario of parents posing a problem for their children is evident everywhere. Teachers have grown conscious of this fact and feel the parents today are increasingly insecure. While discussing it with the teachers, the question of faith comes in. How to trust your own child-that’s the new question. This leads to various other problems.  Each problem is very subjective in nature. Here's a list of the key issues I  could figure out after talking to them.

• Lack of Freedom: Parents cannot trust their children to do things by themselves. This results in restraining their movement and thoughts.
• Dependence: Due to lack of freedom, the child becomes very dependent. So when it starts its school, its not only that he is mentally unprepared, he is physically also unprepared which aggravates the mental health further. Lack of toilet training and eating habits can cripple the child's interaction in school. A case was shared where the five year olds were taken for a picnic and given food packets each. One child put his entire mouth in the packet because he didn’t know how to eat by hands. Later when his mother was called, it was found that she never let him eat by himself. She always fed him for the fear of him messing with his food.
• Fear of Competition: It’s the parents who fear that their child shouldn't lag behind in class and want him or her to stand apart. Each considers their child to be the best. This results in parents expecting from their children. Many a times, children fail to perform well in pressure, the reason being pushy parents.
• Mother's think they are the best mothers when they do everything for the child. This is a disaster situation for a child. Too much dependence or too much independence both have a negative impact. Parents should understand that.

In many cases the Joint Family system is also considered a problem.  Due to grandparents or relatives intervention parents many a times feel that they have no say for their child. Another interesting observation which one of the teachers came across was parents who are in professional field may not have the time to spend with their children but in many cases they are the ones who are quick to analyse what their child needs or where he lacks. Whereas mothers who tend to spend more time at home often tend to worry more than necessary. The teachers were concerned about the teaching pattern at home also. They felt that more importance should be given to understanding the subject than by hearting it. Parents often neglect these issues and this weakens the basis of education in children. 

Meeting Teachers-2

Meeting Teachers-2

I next headed to the primary section of Udgam School, a C.B.S.E affiliated
school. Udgam School for Children was founded 47 years ago in a small building by Mrs. Sarojben Carvalho. Eventually the school grew and it was necessary to shift to a bigger premises. As an international university preparatory high school committed to excellence, Udgam School seeks to educate students to be accountable, productive, and ethical citizens with the skills to think innovatively, reason critically, communicate effectively, and respect peoples of other cultures.

Mrs Hina Desai who teaches at the nursery shared some of her experiences on her involvement with parents and her role in handling both children and parents. I started off by explaining her about the project telling her about a guideline or a structure that can be developed for parents which can be useful for them to handle their kids while beginning school. Mrs. Desai then questioned me “ Do you really think that parents really read all guidelines.” I told her that what if such material is available to parents at the time of admission, to which she replied that yes that could be possible and appreciated the idea. She also suggested that personal counselling of parents or an interactive workshop of parents and teachers can also be held for that.

Mrs. Hina Desai

I had several key questions in my mind and I thought I should directly talk about the scenario.

Q. What should parents do when their child begins school?

A. At the time of admission the background of child can be deciphered. So the    
    teachers could have an interactive session with the parents and address their     
    questions at the initial stage itself. The parents should understand the role   
    they are supposed to play by initiating education of their children. They 
    should think of ways in which they can support both the child as well as the  
    school.

Q.What problems do children commonly face while beginning school?

A.Children are very insecure when they begin with school. Parents too feel 
    insecure. Children don’t know what a school is. Once they realize that at the  
    end of the day they go back home, which normally takes about 15 days then 
    they start feeling comfortable. But in special cases such as a disabled child, 
    more love, affection and encouragement is needed. They should have special 
    classes for them. However society is not always ready to accept a disabled 
    child in the institution which further causes a restrain on its education.

Q.How open our children with their parents?

A.Children do take time to share what happens in school with their parents. In 
    such case the parents should not try to force the child to speak out. Give 
    children time to understand what is happening around them and then let them 
    come on their own and share. However these days, parents have also become 
    careless and at times forget to get the child involved and motivated towards 
    school. Their own busy schedules dilute their attention for their children.

Q.How should parents make their child feel comfortable? What all can they 
    possibly do?

A. Motivation and warmth are the key ingredients for a child to feel comfortable 
    anywhere. Parents should tell them about school, about the enjoyment in 
    school and about new things they can learn. Parents should talk cheerfully 
    about school as though befriending school and their child. At the same time 
    also be strict, in case the child throws tantrums on going to school. The child 
    shouldn't always be spared because then it would not take things seriously. If 
    it doesn’t like anything it would want to refuse but it’s the duty of parents to 
    make the child realize the importance of school, and the morals it carries with 
    itself.

Q.What is the role play of siblings?

A.Siblings generally tend to be very protective of their younger brothers or 
    sisters. It does play a very critical role for a child whose sibling is already 
    studying in that school. It becomes much easier. Usually siblings tend to 
    encourage their younger ones. At times they even try to scare them off but in 
   such cases teachers do take initiative to explain to the elder ones to motivate 
    the younger ones.

Q.Has the working pattern of parents affected the child?

A.Children belonging to parents, where both are working are highly insecure. 
    Parents should be encouraged to spend time with them as much as possible.  
   There was a case when this little boy was having cough and cold yet his mother 
   sent him to school. While leaving for home, his mother had come to collect 
   him, instead of his nanny. The teacher questioned his mother about the child’s 
   cold. The mother told that he didn’t have cold until he reached school and 
   that he has been pretending. The teacher knew that it was a genuine case of 
   cold and asked the mother not to forcefully send the child to school just 
   because she herself doesn’t have time. Later when the child was asked 
   whether he liked staying at home he said that he didn’t like it because 
   whenever he fell ill no one gave him medicine and his parents were always 
   working. This kind of treatment by parents can have a long lasting effect on 
   the child. It might cause severe insecurity and affect him mentally as well as 
   physically.

Q.Is the growing trend of nuclear families affecting the child?

A.Yes definitely it is. Nuclear families generally comprise of the parents and the 
   children and grandparents to some extent. The trend of having a single child 
   and also living in flats has moulded the child’s behavior. Parents while away
   for work often instruct their nannies to not let the child out. So he basically   
   gets constricted to his tiny flat. The only means of entertainment are 
   television or books, This results in him being shy and introvert. Such children 
  feel scared when they immediately come to school. They are not used to see 
  hundreds of other kids. They are not used to talking. All this causes phobia in 
  child’s mind. 

   In case of grandparents also there are diverse situations. Many grandparents 
   feel that whatever they couldn't give their children, they will give it to their 
   grandchildren. By means of doing so, they often pamper them. Whereas in 
   some cases, the mother-in law are aware that their interference in their 
   grandchild’s life will not be liked by their children or their daughter-in-law. So 
   they often keep silent and not pay heed to how the grandchild is being 
   treated. Even if they wish to they are scared. Thus the child is helpless as he 
   has no one to approach. All this can lead to psychological problems. Even if 
   the child ended up growing normally, if his school beginning years are not 
   taken sensitively, the child may start bed wetting, thumb sucking or 
   stammering.

Q.What about fathers in today’s scenario?

A.Fathers have become more supportive knowing that their wives are also busy. 
   Of late more and more fathers turn up for the PTA meetings.

Q.What would you suggest the young generation when it comes to dealing 
    with kids and their education?

 A.“Please,please give time to your children.”

      Often a mother’s stress is transferred to the kid. So a mother should try and  
      be calm. They should be patient with their children. They should meditate if 
      they feel that their schedule is erratic and they bash their children 
      frequently. Basically both parents need to control their emotions while 
      talking to their children.

Understanding the existing scenario

Meeting Teachers-1

Prior to that day I had spoken to Mrs. Himani and scheduled an appointment.

She has been in the profession of educating playschool children for the past eleven years and currently heads Cocoon, a playschool and a nursery. I began by explaining my purpose to see her and then went on to explain the project. Interacting with tender aged children as well as their parents has given her a wide experience of the numerous situations that occur and how the children, parents and teachers deal with it at their own levels. She felt that every child is unique and each of them should be treated so. No one solution is good enough for a problem faced by these children. 

Beginning with education consists of familiarizing with the environment and the people around, understanding the why and how of things happening around us. Children initially do take some time to adjust with the new surroundings. In most cases ten days are minimally needed after which he begins to enjoy school. He or she will become active in what goes on at the school. However the time junction where the parents take their child out from home for school still remains crucial for parents to handle. They may enjoy school but the phase where they are to leave the house still remains troublesome. Many parents find it very hard to handle their children not because the child is being stubborn but because they themselves are afraid to detach themselves from kids. This usually happens in cases where mothers are homemakers.

Also with changing times many women too have decided to go out and work. Many scenarios have emerged out of this. The child could be left in care of his grandparents or his maid or his siblings or any relative. In each case the behavior possibility is manifold. In a case of nuclear family, when both parents are working, often the aspect of guilt comes in where parents feel that they are not devoting enough time to their children and in turn over pamper them. Whereas there are some parents who do time shifts so that when father is not available the mother is and vice versa. One can’t really generalize the situation.

School beginning is one of the first big changes in a child’s life. Even though a child can put his feelings to words he feels stressed. In such a scenario parents often forget about the fear in their child’s mind and force him to school. There are two things parents should keep in mind:

1. They should not push their child a lot, give him his space.
2. They should never compare its growth to others.

Parents should give their children time to settle before beginning to question them about what is happening in school. The children should come by themselves and talk about it. The conversation ended with Mrs. Himani mentioning a memory of hers when her daughter was born. She said that one of the first lessons she learnt as a mother was to be patient and not compare her child’s capabilities with any other because every child is unique.

A Mid-Air Crisis!

In the midst of reading about the role of parents while their children begin school and listing down all the experiences of mine and the people around me, a question struck me- "If most of us end up growing as normal humans then it clearly indicates that our parents knew the tricks of raising. So what is the problem?"

This question kept occurring in my mind time and again. I began to probe into the relevance of the project. To save myself from getting more disturbed I headed to my guide, Tarun.

On hearing patiently what I had to say, he suggested that I rethink over the issues that a child faces while beginning school. Moreover the overall phase where the child begins to learn by observing, imitating the ways in which people around him communicate, how it picks up vocabulary and even the way it responds and reacts to a situation should be understood.  All these are actually a result of the customs and the behavior passed onto the parents from their respective parents or who ever brought them, especially in a scenario of a joint family. Earlier children were a part of a big family unit comprising of their parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and other siblings. However the system has undergone a change where most children end up staying in a nuclear family consisting of their parents and to some extent their grandparents. And in most of these cases both the parents are working. So once the child is born the so called occupied parents now turn to take care of the children.  But once it is the child’s turn to go to school then the distance becomes too difficult to handle for both the parents as well as children. They are unable to understand how their child is feeling and many a times in absence of grandparents they too make mistakes.

The crux of situation lies in finding situations where parents also end up making mistakes and approaches to solve it. He also advised me to look at projects from around the world which involve such issues and how these issues have been dealt with.

So I have decided to rethink over the project. Meet people who deal closely with both children and parents and figure out the actual scenario. Give it some more thought and not get troubled by the questions that came in my mind.

Proposal Feedback

After a few corrections the proposal was signed in on the final draft. Thereupon the research strategies were discussed. 

User study: The task here was to identify situations when kids are sent to school and what are the possibilities in which they behave and the ways in which the parents respond.  On the basis of my past experiences as well as listing down how my family members and friends recall their school going times various scenarios had to be identified.

Literature: Books on Relation between parents and children and also on understanding the problems faced by children and their psychology have to be referred in order to get a better view.

Meeting professionals and parents: Skimming information from people who work closely with children especially of the age group of 4-6 years would be beneficial. Principals and teachers of preschool and junior schools could give valuable insight on how kids conduct themselves at the initial stages. Moreover interactions with parents and conducting Focus Group discussions could be highly informative in knowing the existing behavior and how to steer the circumstance in a better way.

Defining the Proposal

Understanding the child psychology at the school beginning level is very important. Evaluating the necessity for the parents to understand their children by not assuming that school beginning is a perpetual problem. An initiative for parents to take it as an independent take exclusively for their child had to be emphasized. Taking all these factors a proposal was drafted.

The Proposal

Purview of concern

“Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression,”as quoted by Dr. Haim Ginott. When children begin with their formal schooling it is similar to an ex situ experience. They have been pulled out from the comforts of their family and home into a larger unfamiliar world aimed at their development. It is upon the parents, the institution and the society at large to make the child feel comfortable and good about joining school. Eventually the child begins to encounter myriad emotions. There are many occasions when the child throws tantrums or expresses its unwillingness to go to school. He or she may even resort to wetting and soiling in school in spite of being toilet trained. It is not because the child does not want to study or is lazy, there are other psychological aspects which get manifested in such a way. As adults we are aware of the word stress and use it on a day to day basis. They also feel a stress but are unable to speak out clearly. If these problems are not addressed at the initial level, the child may grow up being aggressive or shy or a poor performer.

Problem Analysis and Deduction

Just as the child grows physically, it also grows emotionally and psychologically. The love and care of the parents provide sense of security on which various learning experiences of childhood are built. Any deviant behavior in the child may be traced to the growth of new emotions and faculties in it as in the case of nightmares or it may be due to various tensions as in the case of bed-wetting. A proper understanding of the child and the various stress it is passing through will enable the parents to handle judiciously any behavioral disturbance which appears.

Adequate explanation of various tension-causing phenomena in the daily life of the child may help his understanding of life and enable him to master the conflicts that arise. As a visual communication designer I would like to bridge the gap between the child and the parents in being aware of and understanding these concerns. I want to contribute in terms of comprehending what the child undergoes at the threshold of joining school and while attending it. Also working on enumerating the problems and mapping out solutions and how the parents can take the responsibility of effectively building and instilling values and a sound character in their children.

Suggestive Proposition

A publication or a booklet which could be circulated amongst parents and institutions to propel the awareness and how to act on it.

An interactive media where the child and the parents can come together and do something jointly.

The project was apportioned in three stages.

Stage one: Information collection, analysis and synthesis. Research on study of child, parent and      institutional behavior.

Stage two: Content development and further research.

Stage three: Exploring alternatives along with doing user study after which there is final execution.